Here I am, still working away on my Great Green KAL sweater.

The deadline is March 31, but I am the devil with deadlines. If I don’t tell myself I have to have it done by the 15th, I will hem and haw and not do a darn thing until the last minute. I have no idea why this is. It happens even with projects I love, even if I am making something for someone I love.

If I have not set deadline, I pop whatever it is out quick as can be and I take care it is the best that it can be. Give me a deadline, and I will leave it until the last minute and then grumble and growl my way to the end.

It’s that wild horse inside my brain, I guess, that says I shall not be fenced in and force to act on a deadline.

Was I like this when I was in the corporate world as well? Yeah, pretty much. To combat that tendency in myself, I always made sure I gave myself far earlier deadlines than required so I would be sure to finish projects on-time. Because as sure as a deadline came and passed, so came the urgency to finish whatever the project was and get it done, usually with a smile for beating The Man at his own game again.

Whatever it is…I tried to do the same thing with this sweater. I tried to tell myself it needed to be done by the 15th. And then I walked away from the thing for over a week. Now, I know I can make a sweater in less than a month, as proven here. When I decided to take part in this KAL, it was because I had just finished that particular sweater and I knew it could be done in time along with the KAL.

I stopped working on my granny destash blanket–it still only needs about eleven more rounds before it will be done. I have started to become cranky for not working on it until it was done since it wouldn’t take all that long (2-3 evenings, at most, if I worked on it hard enough) — but I had decided the blanket would wait until I finished the KAL so i would have plenty of time if I started to do my usual retreat and leave it until after the deadline passes thing.

And then I took on Confident Knitting and I need to work on the Flux hand warmers. (Am I the only one thinking of starting a top-down raglan sweater using the folded hem method?)

I knew I had pushed myself into a schedule that I was hating. I cannot divide my time between school, home, dinner, laundry, writing, knitting the sweater, crocheting the blanket, knitting the hand warmers. I have to have everything divided up into their own categories. Knit the sweater. Crochet the blanket. Make the dinner. Fold the laundry. So on. So forth. Yes, I am capable of knitting in the morning on one thing and then knitting in the evening on something else–which has been the plan with the hand warmers–but I had to wait for my double point needles in the correct size to arrive — because, NO, I still have not found out where I hid my knitting needles over last Christmas…so I had to order something small enough to work with (to be honest here, I probably would have had to order the smaller DPNs anyway, but I’m still cranky I haven’t found my needles and case yet).

Under normal circumstances (as in, no KAL), my knitting is all about nourishing my mind and soul. And getting some cool pieces of clothing and a myriad of accessories–for myself and for my family. There is no rush to finish, although I do prefer to get things done and move on to the next project. I am actually a process knitter, not a product knitter. Some days it’s difficult to tell though.

I crochet these blankets for my family–and I do this because a granny square is simp0le, mindless, repetitive and I can watch a whole season of Prodigal Son and not have to worry about anything I am working on and still keep my hands busy. I realize that feeling as if I am wasting time by sitting and watching television may cause people to have issues. Not having idle hands may cause people issues. I just like to feel productive where I can because there are days that I literally cannot get up and move around, days where just falling out of bed and crawling over to the bathroom a few feet away is as if I am climbing a mountain top with little oxygen in my system and no sherpa to shove me along. And so, I do what I can.

My fiber work makes me feel productive. It makes me feel human. Different patterns and stitch work can occupy my brain when unwanted thoughts and feelings pop up. My needles are my friends and I love them dearly (see how well I hid them to keep them safe over Christmas!?!?!). Yarn is my therapy.

How does your knitting and/or crocheting make you feel?

What are you working on? Where are you at in your projects?

Let me know in the comments below.