Using Your Grimoire of Self … Or Any Other Journal For That Matter
An Exercise To Get You Started
No Matter Where You Are
What happens first?
You sit down and you ask:
What do I want?
What do I need?
Which way do I go?
Where do I want to get to in the end?
How do I get there?
Maybe you already know the answers to these questions — or at least have some sort of idea.
So you make a list.
I want: xyz.
I need: xyz.
I want to go: here.
I will take these steps (xyz) to get to that place.
Awesome. Great. Now — get going.
I will be your biggest cheerleader the whole way…
But —
What about the rest of us?
The ones with no ideas?
The ones with too many ideas?
What do we do?
We sit with pen and paper and we write.
We journal about how we don’t know.
We journal asking for help — about asking for help from others.
We journal asking, asking, for, needing, wanting, a sign — any sign — someone please help…
We take notebooks and glue in pictures cut from magazines or printed out from our computers. Sometimes we know why we choose certain images. Sometimes we do not.
We doodle and draw — on those collaged images, around those images, on completely different pages.
We add random spots of color using paints or markers or decorative tapes. We use stamps and stencils. We add random marks that appeal to us. Maybe we even throw on some glitter, just a touch, for the magic of it.
Sometimes we add words. A single word, maybe two. Perhaps a quote. Maybe the mood strikes and we write in blocks of text on our pages. Maybe we write, creating designs with our words, our letters. Maybe we make it pretty. Maybe we don’t.
Our subconscious is working.
The Universe is working.
We are stuck in our own stuff, locked into our own tunnel vision, feeling lost, hopeless, confused.
What do we do?
We ask for help —
Then we step back
And allow the answers
To filter in —
We allow the answers,
The suggestions,
To come to us,
To seek us out,
To show us the way.
We stop assuming.
We listen.
We watch.
We absorb.
Email themes begin to show up
(as in, themes show up in your inbox)…
The same themes,
Again and again…
Ditto with whatever resources you usually have on hand or that enter your realm of influence regularly:
Newsletters
Newspapers
Blog posts
Magazines
Billboards
Television shows
Movies
Commercials
Songs on the radio
And on and on and on…
Images repeat themselves.
Phrases come up again and again —
In random conversations,
Overheard,
Ones you have…
You may even find yourself
Repeating the same things
Over and over…
Hear these messages.
Write them down, as they arrive, as you recognize them…
Draw them.
Collage them.
Whatever it takes.
Put them in your notebook,
In your journal,
Wherever you put things to keep them safe.
Then —
Explore them…
Each theme,
Word,
Image,
Idea…
Explore them —
Each as a single individual…
You journal about them,
One at a time.
How does x make you feel?
What does x mean to you?
How can you bring x into your life?
How can you embody x?
How can you make x work for you?
Do you feel resistance to x?
How does it show up?
In your life?
In your body?
Work with it.
Resistance is ok.
Work on through it.
Not push through it —
Not push past it —
Not ignore it —
Work through it.
Return to your journal with your resistance.
Write.
Draw.
Collage.
What are you resisting?
What are you afraid of?
Come back to these questions,
Until you are clear
About them…
Then…
Ask yourself:
What is the worst that can happen?
What is the worst thing that could happen if I ________________?
If I take this step —
If I voice this opinion —
If I open this door —
If I embrace this action —
If I start this activity —
If I embrace this emotion —
If I do this work —
If I read from this book —
And so on —
And so on —
Whatever it is for your unique
Situation and
Experience.
If you are afraid to ask the questions —
If you are afraid to hear the answers —
Don’t worry.
All you’ve done so far is write some stuff down —
Or collect some images in a book.
The book can be thrown away —
Shredded —
Burnt…
It’s just paper and ink for the most part.
If you are overwhelmed by
What you find —
Where you go —
What you want —
That is fine.
You do not have to be
Ready
To do anything
At all
Until you are genuinely
Ready.
Maybe, what you need
Instead of
Action steps
Is the permission
To let go
Of everything you discovered.
Maybe what you need
Is to allow
What you’ve learned
Time
To incubate,
To coalesce,
To come together,
To germinate.
Maybe you need to simply
Step back
And allow
Your ideas
Time
To ruminate —
To percolate…
This too is fine.
Maybe you need
A few days…
Or weeks…
Or months…
Or even years…
For your ideas to
Hibernate
Before you can
Embrace them
And make them
Your own.
I give you permission
To take all the time
That you need to take.
I’ll be here to cheer you on
When you are ready
To take
That next step.
Tabitha Low 