I deeply resent being here. I mean, deeply. I have been here on this spot every single night for five hundred years or more. Give or take. It’s just a job. I know this—and I am good at my job. After five hundred years, I’d better be. Yes, the prey has changed—evolved—devolved—evolved along some other way. It never mattered. Humans have always been easy prey. The more “advanced” they think of themselves, the easier they are to pick off.

I’m bored tonight—like so many other nights. However, I still have a quota to fulfill. I have never gotten attached to these creatures as some have, so picking out the ones to process has never caused any issues for me. But, since I get bored, a lot, I tend to create little games. I especially like ones where the humans themselves choose who I cull.

Tonight I’m using a favorite of mine—the candy bowl. What type of candy the human picks determines how your night with me goes. Tonight, if someone picks the green candy, they belong to me. And tonight, because I am in such a particularly foul mood, the bowl is full of nothing but green candy.

Every time a man sits down and ordered a drink, he grabs some of my candy. If he chooses the right color, and tonight every choice is the right one for me, I zap a bit of my ink into their drink. Boom. It doesn’t take long until he is out cold. An hour later, I have his soul out and in my bag. As for the rest of what’s left, the clean-up crew here is a bunch of real ghouls. By morning, there isn’t a trace to be found anywhere.

There was a time when I would get into trouble with Management over these mass culls. It does seem as if they have grown more tolerant of my ways over the years. So long as I don’t abuse my station. And I don’t. I usually am not this angry. Mass culls don’t happen all that often … lately. It’s a good thing they give me some leeway. As long as I am never short, I don’t have to go explain myself to them.

Tonight, three hundred pieces of green candy went out. The bowl is running low now. I think I may need to refill it, a few times. I feel like I might need some overtime tonight.