I have missed painting.

I have not genuinely missed painting faces, or following along with someone else and creating their work–not even if it is my interpretation of their work.

A lot of the fellow students that I used to share classes with are still making the same things, the same faces, according to social media. They are still taking classes with the same teachers, according to what they are posting.

Now, let me say, if this is what is making them happy, then by all means I stand behind them and i stand for them to do this work. However, for me, I simply cannot do that anymore.

I need something with more…soul — like the Southern Gal’s Soulful Reflections class (no pun intended there). I love the way Tiff works. I love her teaching style. I love listening to her. I love watching her. For me, she is incredible–and I love her.

But, enough about her…

During my sojourns around the house, looking for places to put things, looking for things to donate, all of that happy stuff, I spied with my little eye the stack of half-finished artworks…as well as the finished ones. The only real different is the ones that are complete are sealed…

I have pulled out the ones that are not sealed — as yet, these are going to be the ones I am working on. I plan to reclaim them. Now, I am used to painting over things. We find a lot of used and half used canvases at the thrift store, so I have a bunch of that with stuff on it. I have my stack of wooden panels, which is what I am planning to work on.

The first things I am doing when I pull out a panel to work on–due to a lack of space in which to work and a desire not to involve my 8yo if I don’t have to I only pull one at a time–is I draw all over them with a ballpoint pen. I press hard. I press lightly. I scribble. I doodle. I make random marks. I used a paint can opener to scrape through the paint and whatever other layers on already there, cutting through everything as best as I can to reach the board underneath. I also use pencil over the pen, just to add some different style and a different texture to the work.

Then I usually throw down a thin translucent layer of paint — the last time I did it I used a white and then a yellow. My intention is to cover up anything that might bleed. On the last painting, there was quite a bit of Lyra water-soluble pencil on there already and I didn’t want to have to deal with that going forward, especially since it was smearing all over my hand.

This is the step I am currently in. I am working on three or four pieces, rotating them as one dries and spaces is made to put the new one out.

Going forward, I will be moving paint, using markers (yep, like Crayola markers or whatever else I have on-hand), colored pencils, water-soluble crayons, maybe even some Jane Davenport mermaid markers (because I really do not have any other places to use these as I don’t much care for them). I plan to add collage, do some scraping, more mark making. Perhaps some glazing. I don’t know.

I do know that where I want these new works to go is nowhere near where the old ones ended up.

I have a completely different vibe at the moment. I want to go in an utterly different direction. I want to play more and not be so serious. There is no, ok, now I have to be able to sell this at XYZ so I can ABC. That is not my end-goal. My end-goal is to play, re-ignite some happiness, and let go of the things I have been holding onto that have been holding me back.

As soon as I have something worth posting, I will be more than happy to show my work.

What about you? What’s lighting you up? What’s igniting the fire within you lately?

Share with me in the comments below.